Some mothers of the bride (MOBs) are hyper involved in helping plan their daughter’s wedding day, while other MOBs prefer to take a back seat. No matter which category your mom falls into, there are certain duties she is traditionally responsible for handling.
We have compiled the thoughts of some top wedding planners to learn the ultimate mother-of-the-bride must-dos, plus gathered their thoughts about some sweet nontraditional ways moms can lend a hand.
1. Shopping Support
Traditionally, mothers accompany their daughters in their search for a wedding dress, there to simply share in the joy and provide loving and honest feedback. Mom’s far away? Email dress ideas back and forth or schedule a dress-shopping visit.
2. Researching Traditions & Finding Family Heirlooms
It typically falls on your mom to uncover religious or cultural traditions you, or your groom’s family, might want to incorporate in the ceremony. She will also help you find the “something old” or “something borrowed,” such as a stunning piece of jewelry that’s been in your family for generations.
3. Go-To Contact
Your mom should be the one whose name you give to the caterers, florist, planners, entertainers, and venue to field questions and help coordinate. (Whew!) As celeb wedding planner Colin Cowie suggests, “Set your mom up for success with a list of creative contacts and a message book solely for your wedding day.”
4. Playing Host
From the moment guests begin to arrive in town through the end of the ceremony, the mother-of-the-bride is the official hostess, helping each guest feel welcome. According to Diann Valentine, event maven who has planned weddings for Usher and Toni Braxton, “Receiving lines are not as customary, so making point to greet or visit with each guest is important.” Additionally, Valentine suggests that the mother of the bride host a dinner party for the groom’s family or an afternoon tea for just the ladies of both families. “This goes a long way to help them welcome her into their family with open arms.”
5. Communicating Outfit Choice with Your Groom’s Mom
According to Colin Cowie, “Etiquette dictates that your mother follows your lead as to the color and formality of the dress she picks. The bride’s mom buys her gown before the mother of the groom, and, once chosen, calls the groom’s mother to describe her dress.”
6. Day-of Dressing Assistance
“Helping the bride into her dress and placing the veil is, and will always remain, such a sweet, time-honored tradition,” says Lynn Easton, owner of Easton Events in Charleston, SC, and Charlottesville, VA.
7. Second Dance
After you and your groom perform your first dance, then it’s time for your mom and your dad (or whomever accompanies her), to take a spin. After all, your mom deserves her moment to shine, too!
No matter what, your mom will be there to help support you in whatever you need. There may be tension, between you and your mom or your family and your groom’s, but it will pass. Emotions will be high, but your mom’s there to be your rock, and your realist. Remember: She always has your best interests in mind and will always be there, no matter what.