Address book, cup of Starbucks and stationery are ready. And you’re off… you start addressing invitations for you approaching wedding! All of a sudden you realize you are in a potential etiquette minefield… Jane and John are married, but she does not want to be addressed as “and Mrs. John Kelly;” Sam and Sue are not married, but live together; and Tanya is separated but not yet divorced. What are the correct forms of address for each of these invitations?
Well, help is on the way thanks to the staff of sash&bow! Simply refer to our handy-dandy chart and take the mystery out of addressing your social correspondence correctly…
| Addressing a Woman…….. | |
| Maiden name | Ms. Jane Johnson Miss Jane Johnson* *usually ‘Miss’ is for girls under the age of 18 |
| Married, keeping maiden name | Ms. Jane Johnson |
| Married, uses husband’s name socially | Mrs. John Kelly Mrs. Jane Kelly* *Nowadays this is acceptable Ms. Jane Kelly |
| Separated, not divorced | Mrs. John Kelly Mrs. Jane Kelly Ms. Jane Kelly |
| Divorced | Mrs. Jane Kelly Ms. Jane Kelly Ms. Jane Johnson (maiden name) |
| Widowed | Mrs. John Kelly* *If you don’t know the widow’s preference, this is the traditional and preferred form Mrs. Jane Kelly Ms. Jane Kelly |
Now that we have the ladies covered, what about the couples!
| Addressing a Couple…….. | |
| Married, she uses her husband’s name socially | Mr. and Mrs. John Kelly |
| NOTE: Traditionally, a man’s name preceded a woman’s on an envelope address, and his first and surname were not separated (Jane and John Kelly). Nowadays, the order of the names—whether his name or hers comes first—does not matter and either way is acceptable. The exception is when one member of the couple ‘outranks’ the other—the one with the higher rank is always listed first. | |
| Married, she prefers Ms. | Mr. John Kelly and Ms. Jane Kelly Ms. Jane Kelly and Mr. John Kelly *Do not link Ms. to the husband’s name: Mr. and Ms.John Kelly is incorrect |
| Married, informal address | Jane and John Kelly John and Jane Kelly |
| Married, she uses maiden name | Mr. John Kelly and Ms. Jane Johnson Ms. Jane Johnson and Mr. John Kelly If you can’t fit the names on one line: |
| Unmarried, living together | Mr. John Kelly & Ms. Jane Johnson
Note: Use one line |
| A woman who outranks her husband: elected office, military rank |
The Honorable Jane Kelly and Mr. John Kelly
If you can’t fit both names on one line (note indent): |
| A woman who outranks her husband: professional or educational degree |
Dr. Jane Kelly and Mr. John Kelly |
| Both are doctors (PhD or medical) and use the same last name | The Doctors Kelly (omit first names) Drs. Jane and John Kelly / Drs. John and Jane Kelly Dr. John Kelly and Dr. Jane Kelly / Dr. Jane Kelly and Dr. John Kelly |
| Both are doctors (PhD or medical), she uses her maiden name | Dr. Jane Johnson and Dr. John Kelly Dr. John Kelly and Dr. Jane Johnson |
The staff of sash&bow hopes that this makes your addressing of invitations as simple as can be! But if you do have more questions, or, if you really don’t want to address the invitations at all, sash&bow is here to help! Contact Alliey at alliey@sashandbow.com TODAY to see how sash&bow can help! Cheers!
